Try A Little Tenderness

In the past I have had a few things going on in both my personal and professional lives that compelled me to write about the notion that time kills all deals in sales.  Once again fueled by happenings in both my personal and professional lives, I am coming back around to another key to dealmaking and getting things done that I feel warrants some discussion:  empathy.

I am amazed at how often we overlook the shear power of empathy in business and in our daily lives.  Empathy is not a skill that requires advanced study or knowledge.  It is not something that only a small few can master.  It is not reserved for certain levels in an organization or in society.  Empathy is something that lives inside each of us from the very first day we are born – it’s something we all inherently understand simply because we are human.

When you are able to walk in someone else’s shoes, or locate a feeling inside yourself that allows you to relate to a customer, prospect, colleague, direct report, a loved one, or a friend, you are able to make a connection. And when you make that connection, then, no matter what the situation may be, you allow yourself to shed any pretense, ego, or perhaps your own concerns with the sole purpose of collaborating with the other person.

It begs the question: why do we forget about empathy, particularly when it comes to business?  I think sometimes people view that tapping into this part of their own humanity is a sign of weakness.  As if stopping to consider someone else’s concerns or circumstance would increase their own risk of losing or giving the other person the upper hand. I would submit that it is the contrary – being able to exhibit empathy is a sign of strength and leadership.  Devoting time to think, actively listen and truly understand someone else’s circumstances enables you to be a better executive, elected representative, teammate, partner, manager, sales person, marketer, and customer service rep.  Empathy (and vulnerability) creates stronger connections and, in return, more effective solutions.

So the next time you are in a situation that may be at an impasse or things are not going as expected (particularly when it involves working with another person), don’t get frustrated.  Stop and try a little tenderness.  Show a little empathy and humanity. I guarantee it will yield results that are much better than you had originally expected.

Strongly recommend watching the short video above from Brené Brown and read up about active listening.  Both really drive home the importance of self-awareness in personal interactions.